5 Signs of Toxic and Abusive Relationship

It would seem like such an odd topic for a happy website, but it’s important to know that no matter how happy or positive you are, you still need to be careful with whom you choose to spend your time with. In this article we will talk about top 5 signs that the person you are with is not good for you.

Let’s face it, we all need support and it’s important to share your life with someone who makes it better and not the other way. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and I myself was in emotionally abusive relationships. So here they are:

  1. It’s always up and down and you don’t know what to expect. If the person you are with is an emotional yo-yo, he or she will make your life hell. When they feel good, you will feel like you’re on top of the world. But when they feel bad, they will drag you along with them to the deepest corners of hell. No matter what you do or say, they will find a reason to be upset and because you are next to them they will find a reason to be upset with you. Remember that their behavior has nothing to do with you, and if it wasn’t you it would be someone else. And that brings us to the second point.
  2.  It’s always your fault. Abusive people always have psychological problems and can’t take responsibility for their actions. It often comes from them being extremely insecure. They already have such low self image (which they hide), that even slightest comment, I’m not even talking about constructive criticism in a relationships will set them off. So in any issue that comes up or a disagreement, they will make you feel guilty and manipulate you to do what they want. Often, they don’t even notice they are doing it , that’s just how they work. So, if you always feel like it’s you’re fault and you get blamed for everything, maybe it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
  3. He or she is verbally aggressive. Everyone understands that physical abuse is not good. And if your partner hits you, boy or girl, I don’t care. They have anger management issues and need a punching bag and not you. And if you are a girl and think it’s okay to hit guys just because you’re a girl, you need to do some work on yourself. Unlike physical abuse, verbal abuse often gets overlooked, and screaming on top of your lungs it’s a norm in some households. If you grew up in a place where daily shouting was a norm, I am here to tell you that it’s not. Arguments are bound to happen in a relationship, after all you are bringing two completely different people together, but it should never be a shouting match. If your partner constantly raises his voice at you, he or she has power issues that most likely come from childhood trauma, and they feel superior to you when they shout at you. They must feel superior, because otherwise they feel inferior. Since they don’t know how to love themselves, they are unfamiliar with a sense of equality of two people being together.
  4.  They control and monitor you. In a healthy relationships people trust each other and therefore don’t need to know what their partner is doing throughout the whole day. If your partner has trust issues however, he or she will be on your behind more than usual. This will include texting or calling you several times a day to “check on you”, what they’re really trying to do is calm themselves down and reassure that you’re not cheating on them. Your partner should never stalk you, that’s obvious; social media stalking is not that obvious but just as dangerous. He or she might want to stalk you, but since they have some common sense left in them, they won’t go completely crazy. When it comes to social media a dead give away is when they get upset because of Facebook comments you made, tweets you re tweeted, or a pic that you liked on Instagram. If your partner gives you hard time because you liked a picture of the opposite sex on Instagram…. He or she is stalking you and you need to run the other direction.
  5. Defensive victim thinking. Every single one of his ex partners is the worst person in the world and he or she is pink bunny who didn’t do anything. At some point in your relationship you will share past experiences, and if your partner talks garbage about every single on of them… prepare, you will be the next one. This is a defensive type of thinking and this person will never take responsibility for their actions. This defensive victim mindset will also show itself when your partner tells you about his work, friends, and family. Everyone is against them and is trying to hurt them! People at work always do things on purpose to annoy them. Their family doesn’t understand or accept them. Actually it’s their family fault that they turned out like this and had to suffer so much! Their friends are jerks who only look for something to gain out of him or her and if you look closely, he or she doesn’t really have a best friend. Because guess what, nobody wants to be friends with people like that.

I hope these point were helpful. If you are still unsure and need someone to talk to, feel free to message me though Instagram or Facebook:)

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